When faced with a major life or career transition ( sometimes both concurrently) you realise, soon enough, that you need help to cope with the emotional, physical, psychological, financial and other aspects of your transition. The first thing to do is to put together your ‘’A’’ team. Having a team to support you is paramount to your success and will enrich your transformation experience tremendously.
Here are a few tips to guide your choice:
Not one coaching approach or therapy will solve ALL your issues. There might be some approaches that are really holistic and touch on many aspects of your issues, but never rely on a single source for your major transitions. Often, it is the combination of approach, like the salt , flour, water and the leaven in the bread that make it successful. If someone pretends he or she can solve ALL your problems, run, they either are incompetent or delusional which in both cases is not what you want in your ‘’A’’ team.
References from friends are a great way to chose someone on your A team. You might want to ask your friends how they used the services and how was the overall experience. It’s always good to mention you have been referred. You might get discounts, but more over, there is already a ‘’ connection’’ made with someone you connect with and there are chances ( not always) that you will connect with that person too.
Be clear about the results you are expecting, but let lose on the technique they will use. You would not tell your surgeon how to operate you ? When I go to the massage therapist I always say : do what you are best at, because , when people play to their strengths you get so much more from them. When you are interviewing someone to be your therapist or trainer etc ask them ‘’ what are you known for, what are you best at ? ‘’ What type of people have great success with you ?’’
When you have found an A team member, ask them for referrals. Let’s say you take a personal trainer, you might want to ask them if they know a lawyer, an osteopath etc. Usually, talented people, know talented people and because they already know you, they will want to refer a person that will fit your style. Sometimes this is how you end up building a little community and an solid base for your team.
If you don’t need to meet in person, chose the best, even if they are on the other side of the planet. Today, with technology, your coach, your menopause specialist, might just be in an other country, I personally have clients across the globe and I feel as close to them as my clients that I see in person.
Manage your transition like a project, with timeline, resources and budget. Sometimes a timeline for results is hard to establish, then, you might want to introduce a check point ( after 3 months I will revaluate the pertinence of this therapist, this trainer etc. ) give it a reasonable timeline, but, put plan a time for revaluation.
Make sure you can maintain the commitment of your team members to your overall progress. Ask questions about how to communicate between sessions, how to reach them, what is in your agreement or outside of your agreement, some have podcasts, videos, resources that you can use between sessions to keep the Momentum going.
Be prepared to say good bye to your team members when they have reached their max with you. It will happen and that is perfectly normal. I had someone stopping her piano lessons because teacher told her she was at her max, she would never get better, I told her that the teacher had his limit with her, not her with the piano. Sometimes, even the best team members, are no longer the right one for you. You have to be able to end the relationship and be open about it. A professional will understand and not let his or her ego in the way.
Make sure your team has complementary skills and that they all have your best interest at heart. Complementary and not contradictiions ( If you take someone to help you lose weight and you take someone to help get pregnant, you might get confused ) when you have contradictionnary objectives ( unless you do need to lose weight to become pregnant for health reasons) you might neutralise your efforts and get no results or worsen your situation. You will confuse your brain. So, ensure the big picture makes sense and that you can identify clearly what each team member bring to the table and the costs-benefits associated with each.
Finally, trust ! You have to trust yourself first, that you will chose the right people for you. You have to trust the person you are choosing, especially if you are in a vulnerable place. Now I know I am not bringing science here, but depending on how you are used to rely on your gut feeling, that is a good place to start. Also, by having multiple people in your team, you can compare attitudes, results etc. and how you feel with each of them. Be open to be pushed outside of your comfort zone and ask for it, this is really how you will grow. Make sure you chose people who will challenge you and expand your actual zone of comfort but that will also be respectful of who you are and what YOUR objectives are.
As an RTT Therapist and HypnoCoach , I have developed a model that works. 1. Build your A team 2. Do what works (( and repeat it)) 3. Let is sink in.
I do help people in transitions overcome their fear, anxieties, doubts, insecurities etc that stand in the way of a spectacular next part of their life without months and years of therapy. I do it with my clients and with their other A team member. I like to say that I am quite focused and surgical in my approach, but my sessions are also filled with joy and humour which blends well for agreeable, fast, lasting results.
If you want to know if my approach is right for you and applies to your case, I offer a 30 minutes free call.