Am I Numb, or Am I Just Being?

22 oct. 2026 · @Janylène

My conversation on the Nara Fellowship podcast

Halfway through our conversation, my host asked me a question I hear often.

"How do I know if I'm at peace, or if I'm just numb?"

I know numb. I lived there for a long time.

I started drinking at 12 or 13. I felt different. I wanted to belong. With a drink, I was funny. People laughed. Talking was easy.

Years later, I had a big career and a schedule built around wine. A drink at the airport. A drink by the pool. Every day.

Numb is flying over your life. You are in the conversation, but your real relationship is with the glass. As soon as something starts to feel, you reach for your exit. Wine. Your phone. A purchase. One more email.

Being is different. Nothing to win. Nothing to lose. Nothing to prove.

And it is not a constant state. It comes in moments.

The afternoon before this interview, I put on my favourite music and danced with my dog. He looked at me like I was crazy.

That was a 10 out of 10 moment. Fully me.

So the real question is not "am I numb or am I being?" We all numb ourselves sometimes. That's human.

The question is: when?

When am I connected to myself? When do I slip away? And which one do I want more of?

In this episode, we talk about:

• How I learned to learn: my grandmother's books from France and my father's "go look it up"

• Why I always look for the best argument against what I love

• Sobriety, the empty calendar, and the interview where I froze

• The confirmation day I waited for as a child, and what it taught me about transformation

• What hypnosis really is (you already go there every day)

• Feeling enough, and why it makes you less of an easy target for marketing

• The sound console: why you cannot compare yourself to anyone

Here is what I want you to keep.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you feel you are enough? Take the first number that comes.

Move it up one point, and you choose differently. You buy the bag because you love it. Not because you need it to feel better.

You were born enough. Start there.

Then ask yourself one question: what kind of human experience do I want?

🎧 Listen to the full episode here: https://youtu.be/O86L8tGbuk0?si=RRmEhOo0Q-T3MkzV

And if something lands for you, send me a little hello. I love hearing what stayed with you.

Hypnotically yours,

Janylène xo